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Instructors:
Lauren Rodda
Amanda Mok
Topics:
Obstacles
Lecture 6: Obstacles
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AMANDA MOK: Are you done with the list?
AUDIENCE: Yep.
AMANDA MOK: OK, so was controlling male or female?
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
AMANDA MOK: Would someone like to say why, why yous said mutual or male?
AUDIENCE: It's neutral because both guys and girls can be controlling, because it depends on relationships. It's more-- it's going to be, also, the girl that can be controlling as well as the guy. And yeah.
AMANDA MOK: OK, [INAUDIBLE] for male? Who wants to say guys are controlling over--
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
AMANDA MOK: What about the guys having control [INAUDIBLE]?
AUDIENCE: Girls will just walk out.
AMANDA MOK: OK.
AUDIENCE: The only way a girl's controlling me is if she's pregnant with me.
[LAUGHTER]
AMANDA MOK: Anybody cares to [INAUDIBLE]?
[LAUGHTER]
AUDIENCE: What's that supposed to mean?
AMANDA MOK: OK, how are they approachable?
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
AMANDA MOK: Approachable is not necessarily submissive. [INAUDIBLE]. Andrew. OK, how about honest?
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
AMANDA MOK: Anyone want to say why you chose particularly each term?
AUDIENCE: Because girls, like, they talk behind your back. And boys, I don't want them to do it.
AMANDA MOK: Yeah.
AUDIENCE: I think the dishonesty is usually motivated by greed. And greed can be found in either gender. So, honestly, it's pretty mutual.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
AMANDA MOK: How about competent?
AUDIENCE: Female.
AUDIENCE: Female.
AUDIENCE: Female.
AUDIENCE: Mutual.
AUDIENCE: Mutual.
AMANDA MOK: [INAUDIBLE] females, that's along the female section. Why do you say female? Are guys necessarily less competent?
AUDIENCE: No. It just wasn't neutral. Females are more prepared when they do something. It's true.
AMANDA MOK: OK. Agree to disagree? Yeah? OK. How about inspiring?
AUDIENCE: Mutual.
AUDIENCE: Mutual.
AUDIENCE: Male.
[LAUGHTER]
AMANDA MOK: OK, so this group decidd on male, at least on the--
AUDIENCE: Because a lot of inspiring males from like, the media, in one sense.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
AMANDA MOK: How about moms? Are moms inspiring?
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
AMANDA MOK: Are moms male or female?
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
AMANDA MOK: How about intelligent?
AUDIENCE: Mutual.
AMANDA MOK: OK. Fair-minded.
AUDIENCE: Mutual.
AMANDA MOK: Male? Males are more fairminded, you guys think?
AUDIENCE: Yeah.
AMANDA MOK: [INAUDIBLE] voice just cracked. Broadminded?
AUDIENCE: Neutral.
AMANDA MOK: Courageous?
AUDIENCE: Mutual.
AMANDA MOK: If they want to say a reason why, just speak up.
AUDIENCE: Male.
AMANDA MOK: Male? Because?
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
AUDIENCE: It's not like you want to say I'm a coward.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
AMANDA MOK: Louder.
AUDIENCE: Women, they [INAUDIBLE].
AMANDA MOK: How about straightforward?
AUDIENCE: Male.
AMANDA MOK: Males are definitely more straightforward.
AUDIENCE: Yeah, girls hold grudges.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
AUDIENCE: Girls, they won't go up to you. And they'll be like--
AMANDA MOK: Girls are more straightforward?
AUDIENCE: No.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
AMANDA MOK: Hold up. This was a group agreement. Why do you think girls are more straightforward?
AUDIENCE: We never said that.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
AMANDA MOK: Andrew, what do you think?
AUDIENCE: What do I think?
AMANDA MOK: Is it mutual, male, or female?
AUDIENCE: [INAUDIBLE].
AMANDA MOK: What about Gen?
AUDIENCE: I don't know.
AMANDA MOK: I don't know. I don't know. OK.
AUDIENCE: So neither of them are straightforward then.
AMANDA MOK: I guess. How about creative?
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
AMANDA MOK: OK, [INAUDIBLE]? How about dependable?
AUDIENCE: Guys.
AUDIENCE: Girls.
AUDIENCE: Females.
AUDIENCE: Guys.
AMANDA MOK: Females? Reasons?
AUDIENCE: No, I said mutual.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
AUDIENCE: --and tell them to give it back to you, and expecting to give it back.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
AUDIENCE: Women are-- being dependable, matters if you're responsible or not. So [INAUDIBLE] how responsible you are [INAUDIBLE].
AMANDA MOK: OK. How about decisive?
AUDIENCE: Neutral.
AUDIENCE: Male.
AMANDA MOK: Males? Males? Females?
AUDIENCE: Male.
AUDIENCE: Neutral.
AMANDA MOK: Neutral? Enthusiastic.
AUDIENCE: Females.
AMANDA MOK: Females. Agree? Disagree? You have individual opinions? OK. Unselfish?
AUDIENCE: Neutral.
AMANDA MOK: OK. Loyal?
AUDIENCE: Neutral.
AUDIENCE: Male.
AUDIENCE: Male.
AMANDA MOK: Male, female, neutral? Confident?
AUDIENCE: Mutual.
AUDIENCE: Male.
AMANDA MOK: Male? You are like, boxing male. How about tactful?
AUDIENCE: Female.
AMANDA MOK: Females are more tactful. Any agree? Disagree? Males are straightforward, females are tactful.
AUDIENCE: Huh?
AUDIENCE: Yeah.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
AMANDA MOK: Committed.
AUDIENCE: Mutual.
AUDIENCE: Mutual.
AUDIENCE: Female.
AMANDA MOK: Female? Why female? Because I'm outnumbered. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.
AUDIENCE: I don't know. From what I've seen, at least, men are quicker to give up.
AMANDA MOK: OK.
AUDIENCE: Which in a lot of cases, might be a good thing. But--
[LAUGHTER]
AUDIENCE: Women know when to quit.
AMANDA MOK: Yeah, that's true. I agree. Humble?
AUDIENCE: Neutral.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
AUDIENCE: We said female, but certain females. Can be conceited.
AMANDA MOK: I know. Also, males can also be conceited.
AUDIENCE: They're meek, but they could be conceited.
AMANDA MOK: OK, flexible.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
AMANDA MOK: Who said male? You guys said male?
AUDIENCE: Then let's see you do back hand springs.
[LAUGHTER]
AUDIENCE: What now?
AMANDA MOK: OK, why did people say males for flexible?
AUDIENCE: Because we're [INAUDIBLE] here until the last minute.
AMANDA MOK: Huh? Personality-wise-- [INAUDIBLE].
[LAUGHTER]
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
AUDIENCE: Fantasy.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
AMANDA MOK: OK, any other reasons why other than just males are flexible? Who said female? Yeah? Reasons why?
AUDIENCE: Well, it's we have got enough room when to bend. And, well, we do that because in a relationship with a husband and wife, the wife also got to know whent to bend to. [INAUDIBLE] between the two.
AUDIENCE: Women are better at marriage.
AMANDA MOK: We need to watch our parents. I am married. How about-- who said neutral? Someone did. Yes, neutral? Why do you claim neutral?
AUDIENCE: Well, both of them-- if it's a guy and a girl, if they make plans and one of them can make it, they can reschedule it and same, viceversa. So one of them have to know what the two like.
AMANDA MOK: So it's not necessarily one or the other, but both people can do it? OK. How about compassionate?
AUDIENCE: Female.
AMANDA MOK: Overwhelmingly female. Self-discipline.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
AMANDA MOK: Neutral? Male? Female? Anyone want to say why?
AUDIENCE: Personality and physically self-disciplined.
AMANDA MOK: These are all leadership qualities. So personalities. OK, assertive. You guys look all assertive.
AUDIENCE: Neutral.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
AMANDA MOK: Neutral? OK, so I think the only one that the whole class agreed on was compassionate with female. Otherwise-- no, which group decided that it wasn't female or was neutral?
AUDIENCE: We said neutral.
AMANDA MOK: You guys said neutral? OK.
AUDIENCE: Not a single one.
AMANDA MOK: I take my words back. So the whole class couldn't agree on any of these belonging to male or female or neutral, right? So what does that say about these kind of characteristics? You can't stereotype women, men, or anything, right? You can't exactly say [INAUDIBLE]? Yeah?
AUDIENCE: I would say the [INAUDIBLE].
AMANDA MOK: Bias? Yeah. But the fact that we couldn't agree still means that stereotypes don't apply. Yeah? OK. How about let's go back to what you guys thought of each other. I hate to say it. But everyone's pretty negative here. Does anyone want to comment on particularly anything? I left out-- what was it-- do bad imitations of Fergie songs. But other than that--
AUDIENCE: Wow, wow.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
AMANDA MOK: Does anyone want to comment?
AUDIENCE: That's very, very biased.
AMANDA MOK: We're pretty biased? OK. What about these common things though. Everyone agreed that girls are emotional, that girls are good at cooking, although I would disagree on that.
[LAUGHTER]
AMANDA MOK: Who can't cook.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
AMANDA MOK: OK, and girls are nurturing, whereas we have guys, we agree, have bad handwriting and are [INAUDIBLE].
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
AMANDA MOK: Sometimes, my hand [INAUDIBLE]. Anyone want to add anything? Does everyone agree with these?
AUDIENCE: Guys are usually bigger?
AMANDA MOK: They're bigger? You guys agree? Do the guys agree? Are guys bigger?
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
AMANDA MOK: Anything else?
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
AMANDA MOK: OK, random conversation going on in the corner. What do girls think about what the guys wrote about them?
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
AMANDA MOK: That was a low blow. Yeah, by the way, I know where you live, all of you.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
AUDIENCE: What about driving? Driving and sports.
AUDIENCE: Well, there are good women athletes, and like--
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
AUDIENCE: I can drive.
AMANDA MOK: So do the girls like what the guys think of them?
AUDIENCE: No.
AMANDA MOK: Just a question to the guys, do you really think girls are-- you think this negatively of the girl gender?
AUDIENCE: Yes.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
AMANDA MOK: I kept my eyes on you. No, but seriously.
AUDIENCE: You have to think about the age differences of our group.
AMANDA MOK: OK.
AUDIENCE: The youngest to oldest--
AUDIENCE: Exactly.
AMANDA MOK: But as a general, do the guys agree this negatively of girls? How about girls? [INAUDIBLE] girls can say any better. I mean, [INAUDIBLE]. Do girls really think this negatively of guys?
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
AUDIENCE: Some guys are like that, but not all of them.
AMANDA MOK: OK. I'd say in general, people don't think well of themselves. This whole board is negative, except the guys. [INAUDIBLE]. We're cool. We're smart.
AUDIENCE: We were truthful.
AMANDA MOK: Truthful? I guess truthful would have to live on both sides, right? We're looking only at negative sides. So-- I don't know-- just something to think about, what you guys think of each other. OK. Any more comment to say about this glorious board of nice, warm, fuzzy feelings? No?
AUDIENCE: We are very negative about each other.
AUDIENCE: And about ourselves too.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
AUDIENCE: Sort of. The boys were pretty judgemental of themselves.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
AMANDA MOK: Is there a good thing on this side? I guess these [INAUDIBLE]. OK, patient and focused.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
AMANDA MOK: Smart, that's true.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
AMANDA MOK: OK, back to big group. OK, before you take them off, does anyone want to guess what yours are? You guys already guessed yours. OK, what about this table? Did you guys guess it?
AUDIENCE: Yep. Yeah.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
AUDIENCE: --already done.
AUDIENCE: I knew it.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
AMANDA MOK: Shh. Shh. How about Andrew's group. Did anyone guess them before they took it off?
AUDIENCE: They already did.
AMANDA MOK: They already took them off and guessed?
AUDIENCE: [INAUDIBLE].
AMANDA MOK: Yeah, everyone guesses.
AUDIENCE: No, no, no. Just now.
AMANDA MOK: Oh, OK. Did anyone get them right? Nice. Nice.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
AUDIENCE: Yeah, I'm just guessing.
AMANDA MOK: So how did it feel like? I mean, I guess [INAUDIBLE] already on your forehead. But how does it feel like to be treated, like whatever? It felt good to be questioned all the time?
AUDIENCE: Yeah.
AMANDA MOK: OK. Any-- it feels bad?
AUDIENCE: Yeah.
AMANDA MOK: Someone was whispering while you were talking all the time?
AUDIENCE: [INAUDIBLE].
AMANDA MOK: OK, any other thoughts?
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
AUDIENCE: That one's just great.
AMANDA MOK: I thought it was fitting. It was completely random.
AUDIENCE: [INAUDIBLE].
AUDIENCE: We had a good time [INAUDIBLE]. I'd like to say that.
AMANDA MOK: Oh, so [INAUDIBLE] are yelled at. [INAUDIBLE] yelled at.
AUDIENCE: It was frustrating.
AMANDA MOK: Frustrating.
AUDIENCE: Being interrupted all the time.
AMANDA MOK: Yeah, I understand that.
AUDIENCE: Ha.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
AMANDA MOK: While Chris decides to interrupt every other sentence I make. How did it feel like to be treating people like that though, not to be the receiver, but like to be actively-- yeah?
AUDIENCE: Well, its kind of mean to be constantly questioning and disagree with people.
AMANDA MOK: Yeah? No, it's fun. I don't know what you're talking about. Anyone else? Does anyone normally-- do you notice that you do this randomly?
AUDIENCE: I [INAUDIBLE].
AMANDA MOK: Andrew, what do you do randomly?
AUDIENCE: I usually--
AMANDA MOK: Whisper while people are talking, interrupt people? Sort of?
AUDIENCE: [INAUDIBLE] something I shouldn't do. It's like a habit.
AMANDA MOK: Did this activity make anyone aware of how they treat people in conversations.
AUDIENCE: Oh, I know.
AMANDA MOK: You know. You're just like, I don't care. I'm going to do it anyways. How about Kenny's table?
AUDIENCE: What?
AMANDA MOK: How do you guys deal with the [INAUDIBLE].
AUDIENCE: It was good and bad.
AMANDA MOK: Good and bad? Any other thoughts?
[HUMMING]
AUDIENCE: I can't even hear you.
AUDIENCE: Also, this is [INAUDIBLE].
AUDIENCE: So yeah.
AUDIENCE: [INAUDIBLE].
AMANDA MOK: Any other thoughts? What did you guys think of this activity? Did you like it? Did you not like it?
AUDIENCE: It didn't work out too well.
AMANDA MOK: It's kind of dumb.
AUDIENCE: I think if we like, [INAUDIBLE], it would have worked out.
AMANDA MOK: Hm?
AUDIENCE: That everyone like, dirft around--
AUDIENCE: I think it worked well in our group.
AMANDA MOK: You guys, how did it work well in your group?
AUDIENCE: Because we didn't have people guessing.
AMANDA MOK: Oh, wait, who's group didn't guess until I told you guys to guess? Oh, Ann. OK. How did-- shh, guys. [INAUDIBLE]?
AUDIENCE: I didn't know we weren't supposed to guess.
AMANDA MOK: Huh?
AUDIENCE: I didn't know we weren't supposed to guess.
AMANDA MOK: Oh, OK. I mentioned it. Maybe I didn't mention it. Anyways--
AUDIENCE: No, I think that by the time we got the cards, our conversation was already done. So we were just sitting around.
AMANDA MOK: OK. How did Andrew's table work conversation-wise. You guys were the only ones that didn't know what was on your foreheads, or maybe you guessed by looking at other groups.
AUDIENCE: Well, we didn't even pay attention [INAUDIBLE]. We have out own little--
AMANDA MOK: OK. Conversation. How did the conversation run? Did people get frustrated, whatnot?
AUDIENCE: I think people [INAUDIBLE].
AMANDA MOK: People [INAUDIBLE] you treat people normally. Did you guys follow the instructions on the foreheads?
AUDIENCE: I did.
AUDIENCE: It was hard to-- I'm not very good at [INAUDIBLE]. I just can't.
AUDIENCE: I was confused [INAUDIBLE].
AMANDA MOK: Confusion [INAUDIBLE].
AUDIENCE: You know, playing around lately, I was just like, what?
[LAUGHTER]
AUDIENCE: Like, nothing you're talking about.
AMANDA MOK: Do you guys know people who actually treat people this way? Treat others this way?
AUDIENCE: Yeah.
AMANDA MOK: What do you guys do about it? Bring it up to their attention, or just ignore it within yourself?
AUDIENCE: [INAUDIBLE].
AUDIENCE: I'm just waiting for the world to change.
AMANDA MOK: (SINGING) Waiting for the world to change.
Yeah?
AUDIENCE: Mhm.
AMANDA MOK: OK.